July 3rd, 2010

For Cecelia and Chris on the Event of their Wedding

The average human heart, beating at 72 beats per minute, will beat approximately 2.5 billion times during an average 66 year lifespan. It weighs approximately 300 grams, and is about the size of a fist. It has four chambers, and is comprised of involuntary muscle, which is not directly controllable at will.

--Taken from the Wikipedia entry The Human Heart.

The average human heart, beating at 72 beats per minute --
But here is nothing average in this. When you are together your hearts beat so fast, 72 beats per minute is nothing, means nothing, not compared to this: when you are together your hearts are hummingbirds, your hearts are transformed to butterflies, burst forth from cocoons.

--will beat approximately 2.5 billion times during an average 66 year lifespan. 66 years? Right now you think you might live forever. In his arms you feel as though you will.

It weighs approximately 300 grams-- Never before has your heart felt so light, though sometimes love makes it heavy, oh yes, love can do that, too.

--and is about the size of a fist. For so long your heart has been locked tight, but now it opens. Becomes a hand, reaching, becomes a furl of wings, reaching, for air, for light, forever.

It has four chambers -- and you have been inhabiting all of them, alone. These chambers are wide, each one of these a room where you keep your secrets, your memories, half-forgotten; old mix tapes and yearbooks, photographs and letters, but now you have invited her in, and she brings the light, the air, the chambers swept clean of the past and you fill your heart's spaces, now, with her.

-- and is comprised of involuntary muscle, which is not directly controllable at will. There is no controlling this. You have tried but you cannot make the rules here, there is no point. In and out the blood flows, the chambers open, butterfly wings and quickening beats, and someone walks in, and you have to give yourself up to it. You continue to breathe; you let your heart take care of itself.