Saturday, July 24, 2010

July 23rd


when suddenly you
realize that this, right now,
is your real, true life

Thursday, July 22, 2010

July 22nd, 2010

we are all
in cages.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

July 21st, 2010

phone call

... we hang up

and live to see another day

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

July 20th, 2010

things are so fragile

an ice cube melts
becomes less-than-solid
until all that's left is a thin, sliver of ice
becomes lace
becomes water

Monday, July 19, 2010

July 19th, 2010


i'm feeling
a hot, red rage

seven times over we've changed this plan
i am now seven times angrier than i was
when this started

there is a thin,
shaky line
that gets thinner
all the time

July 18th, 2010

July 17th, 2010

July 16th, 2010

Thursday, July 15, 2010

July 15th, 2010

the things i don't want to lose

in my fingertips
my tongue

and hearing
and my sixth sense

whatever that is

my sense of smell
is useful
as is my ability to use my legs
my arms
my heart

i don't want to lose him
i don't want to lose it
this, or that
i don't want to lose my shirt
my license
my mind

i want to keep everything the same
keep you close
in my back pocket, perhaps
safe in a place
where you will never get lost.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

July 14th, 2010

Now I've ...
Grumble grumple grumble
Really wish i could eat.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

July 13th, 2010

overdoing it

i am trying to cram it all in
shove in love
and television
all the while ensuring
i am eating well
and exercising
my body is a temple i seem intent on punishing
with all this busywork

the truth is
by filling up my days with all this living
i am successfuly avoiding my life

Monday, July 12, 2010

July 12th, 2010

i am currently "starving", i say
and you say, "you don't know what that means"

and i say "how did you do this, when you were little"
and you tell me, "i didn't know anything different"

and i realize that is the problem with dieting:
as with language,
children are so much better
at learning to go
than fat adults who've always had
everything handed to them
on a platter
lightly salted
and greased to go down easy

Sunday, July 11, 2010

July 11th, 2010

upon measuring my waist circumference

according to the World Health Organization
(here-ever-after known as WHO, as in "Who says, anyway?")
i am one inch
only one teeny, tiny inch
from diabetes
a heart attack
strokes, multiple, hitting me hard
as i struggle to breathe
as i struggle to succeed
as a woman
who is, apparently,
only one inch from
sudden death.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

july 10th, 2010

i keep crying
and you would be tearing out your hair
if you had any

we keep gnashing teeth over the same thing
chewing up the same problems
over and over again

we need to swallow them or
spit them out

-- the bitterness on our tongues
is getting into

Friday, July 9, 2010

July 9th, 2010

the modern woman

everything she ever wanted
is what she currently has
and yet the only thing she needs now
is everything she lost.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

July 8th, 2010

their love endures

though they've both cheated
changed hair styles and last names
they remain united

through her drug addiction (pain killers when she fell off that horse)
and his second's wife multiple bouts with Insanity (both time trigged when she lost HIS baby, only his, only ever his)

their children's incest
and their granddaughter's attempted murder
they remain
they continue
they endure.

as the world turns, so are the restless days of our lives at general hospital

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

July 7th, 2010

the sky is so wide
and fresh
blues and pinks and whites

a delight
a dream

but it will soon
turn nightmare
the rains come heavy
hail and lightening

the rains will come tonight

July 6th, 2010

July 5th, 2010

Sunday, July 4, 2010

July 4th, 2010

it has been days
and days
since i have felt poetry

Definition: Poetry is an imaginative awareness of experience expressed through meaning, sound, and rhythmic language choices so as to evoke an emotional response.

Poetry has been known to employ meter and rhyme, but this is by no means necessary.

Poetry is an ancient form that has gone through numerous and drastic reinvention over time.

The very nature of poetry as an authentic and individual mode of expression makes it nearly impossible to define.

i love when a definition ends by unraveling itself.

July 3rd, 2010

For Cecelia and Chris on the Event of their Wedding

The average human heart, beating at 72 beats per minute, will beat approximately 2.5 billion times during an average 66 year lifespan. It weighs approximately 300 grams, and is about the size of a fist. It has four chambers, and is comprised of involuntary muscle, which is not directly controllable at will.

--Taken from the Wikipedia entry The Human Heart.

The average human heart, beating at 72 beats per minute --
But here is nothing average in this. When you are together your hearts beat so fast, 72 beats per minute is nothing, means nothing, not compared to this: when you are together your hearts are hummingbirds, your hearts are transformed to butterflies, burst forth from cocoons.

--will beat approximately 2.5 billion times during an average 66 year lifespan. 66 years? Right now you think you might live forever. In his arms you feel as though you will.

It weighs approximately 300 grams-- Never before has your heart felt so light, though sometimes love makes it heavy, oh yes, love can do that, too.

--and is about the size of a fist. For so long your heart has been locked tight, but now it opens. Becomes a hand, reaching, becomes a furl of wings, reaching, for air, for light, forever.

It has four chambers -- and you have been inhabiting all of them, alone. These chambers are wide, each one of these a room where you keep your secrets, your memories, half-forgotten; old mix tapes and yearbooks, photographs and letters, but now you have invited her in, and she brings the light, the air, the chambers swept clean of the past and you fill your heart's spaces, now, with her.

-- and is comprised of involuntary muscle, which is not directly controllable at will. There is no controlling this. You have tried but you cannot make the rules here, there is no point. In and out the blood flows, the chambers open, butterfly wings and quickening beats, and someone walks in, and you have to give yourself up to it. You continue to breathe; you let your heart take care of itself.

July 2nd, 2010

July 1st, 2010

June 30th, 2010

June 29th, 2010

June 28th, 2010