Sunday, June 27, 2010

June 27th, 2010


1. dandelion bar
2. mow
3. trim
4. tidy each room
5. write
6. poem
7. lunch
8. bag
9. clothes
10. write cheques
11. phone joel
12. hang curtain
13. contact cameron
14. hang light things
15. call keri
16. cover up back plants with plastic stuff

Saturday, June 26, 2010

June 26th, 2010

i don't want to talk about it

i don't even want to write about it.

June 25th, 2010

Thursday, June 24, 2010

June 24th, 2010


for five years you have been
trying to squeeze your
round, peggy self
into their
sharp-edged holes
and you are getting bruises
and you are getting sore
and you are getting so fucking tired
so perhaps
it is time
to stop

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

June 23rd, 2010

true love poems

all of these people
in love
with one another
are asking for my help

write us a poem
they say
and recite it at our wedding
it would mean so much to us

but what do i know?
no one has been unluckier
or sadder
in love
than me

so i lie
i write lies
it's only the heart's ache
that i know to be

June 22nd, 2010

June 21st, 2010

June 20th, 2010

Sunday, June 20, 2010

June 19th, 2010

a friend
is a friend indeed
when he allows you to
cut yourself open
and bleed

Friday, June 18, 2010

June 18th, 2010

they're getting married tomorrow
a dress
a suit
readings and a prayer
or two

is this what it takes to make love real?

an open bar
late night dancing
and sore feet
a midnight lunch
and promises
no one will remember exactly
but the essence makes them binding

is this what it takes?

you say yes
and i am so so lonely

June 17th, 2010


I do not want this
I do not want these
sidewalkless streets
a garbage disposal
for coffee grounds and
the remnants of vegetables i've cajoled him to eat
but there are some things i covet
ache for
the way he passes the cups for the dishwasher
the tv-blanket built for two
his hand on the back of her neck
come to bed
and she goes

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

june 16th, 2010

swim, little turtle, swim!
sun, little turtle, sun!
play, little turtle, play!
oh, little turtle, you've made my day.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

june 15th, 2010

you say we
you didn't used to
you used to say you and me but now it's

funny how one syllable can hold
so much

Monday, June 14, 2010

June 14th, 2010

Sometimes the
Antidote to
Pain, loneliness

Perpetual non-motion is to
Enjoy a
Show on TV

Sunday, June 13, 2010

june 13th, 2010


two hours of silence can fill
a heart

Saturday, June 12, 2010

june 12th, 2010

you are down but not out

he's having a bad day
that much is clear
from the frustrating circumstances
within which he has found himself
but he is not giving up
he will use this evil for good

June 11th, 2010

road trip

we drive miles and miles
to find ourselves in another city
a place to pretend that
we are happy
a place to pretend that
we are okay

we will drive home again
and that happiness will dissolve
as we head
along the highway,
trailing out behind us, burned up
fuel to get us home

June 10th, 2010

rain rain
go away
never come again.
rain rain
is here to stay
you might was well make friends.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

june 9th, 2010

the story of my self-sufficiency begins with my edible garden

with each little plant
i plant -- placed in the plot
behind my place --
i plant a piece
of the plot

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

June 8th, 2010

unexpected winter

it's summertime but
the air outside is freezing
and there's a frost due
any day

my veins have iced over
my heart beats are slow
but not steady
trying to pump hot blood through
but the snowdrifts are high
and the pathways have iced over

i can't seem to move
because my feet
have frozen in place
and i don't anticipate a thaw
(there are deadlines i will miss
because of this)

Monday, June 7, 2010

June 7th, 2010

i am actually pretty pleased with the young and the restless lately

victor has gone to canada
ottawa, specifically,
and i love it:

in this interpretation
canada is full of thugs
in a seedy bar
we drink tequila, not beer,
and no one is wearing a toque

the knifefights on the dock
are refreshing
and entirely in english.

either the writers are progressive
or couldn't give a damn

Sunday, June 6, 2010

June 6th, 2010

i am trying not to run away

he holds himself rigid on the sofa,
still in his pyjamas
his coffee not yet cool on the small table beside him

this was a relaxed morning with a newspaper and
sunday morning love
until they started arguing
about something small
but it wasn't small
it was a metaphor for something huge
and the tears
and the pacing
and the but you aren't listening
and the i am trying so hard
and the where do we go from here?

these things happen
like minor earthquakes, like smaller tsunamis
they come out of nowhere and suddenly
everything changes
shifts occur

june 5th, 2010

don't believe them.

Friday, June 4, 2010

June 4th, 2010

i read him a story about a duck who loses his mother
and his eyes grew wide
and his feet stopped moving
and he stared at me for a long, long time

until all the pages were turned
and each picture examined
until the ducks were reunited
and the picturebook closed
and the he raised his hands (one still encased in a splinted cast)
and clapped
like this was the world's best opera
and he was in the front row

if he hadn't already been on his feet
he would have stood up
and if he'd had language
he would have shouted "encore!"

Thursday, June 3, 2010

June 3rd, 2010

you spend forever waiting for this to happen
and when it does
you wonder when it is going to end

nights on the couch
lying in bed
or doing dishes
or this
or that
and you are waiting for life to grab you by the scruff of the neck, shake you awake and remind you that this is the thing you wanted

question: so why are you wasting it?

a)because you secretly hate yourself
b)because you openly hate yourself
c)because you don't deserve it
d)because you deserve better
e) all of the above/none of the above

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010

i am trying to do this thing for you.
it's not a big deal.
just, you know, save your life.

it's nothing, really.
really. don't mention it. it makes me blush.
self-conscious that i'm your saviour.
like, that i'm saving you before you get any worse.

i know you think you are fine with everything, i know you dont think you need saving
and that's partly what makes this so satisfying.
like, i want to see the expression on your face when you wake up and realize
i've changed everything
everything about you
and realize you like yourself so much better because
you're not you anymore
you're me.

and i will tell you what to do
and you will listen
and i will have saved you
from yourself.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

June 1st, 2010

i have spent
every morning
reading tea leaves
looking for news
of you

i have read coffee grounds
my horoscope
and yours
the entrails of a deer i found
by the side of the highway
on my way to your house

you weren't there

i made a pot of tea
with clippings from your lawn
and some leaves, crumpled, fallen from a tree
in your front yard
and looked and looked and looked in the wild for you